Do birds teach their young the rudiments of reproduction? Do monkeys ever show their offspring the basic moves for lovemaking? Perhaps not, but they all learn somehow. For them sex is an instinct that comes eventually at the proper time. But for humans it is an entirely different story. Or is it?
Born into this world with faculties far beyond the limitations of insentient creatures, humans start out as clueless as the next so-called mammal as far as awareness of the world is concerned.
Better the foal which can stand on its four legs as soon as it comes out of its mother.
Better the puppy which can crawl to its mother’s teats though blindly.
And yet, even at 20 or 30, many people – unfortunately, males in general – remain in their mother’s nest, incapable of emotional or financial independence – in short, unmarried and at times irresponsible.
Many would have probably had much experience already in sex without having acquired the requisite self-control expected even of animals at certain stages in their short lives.
Which brings us now to the issue of whether a secondary school sex education would free our society of the lack of continence that we all presume is the root of social and moral decadence, if not simply of overpopulation.
But to tie up the lack of formal sex education with the population boom seems unfair for it puts the sole responsibility of dwindling resources on the sheer number of consumers and not on the corrupt ways of the few or the many.
Do we think that fewer people would necessarily mean an equitable production and distribution of resources?
Even if they were all perfectly educated humans, a million people in the entire world not be any different from what was prevailing then when people were segregated into small communities and exercising completely distinct and yet generally self-sustaining cultures.
Constant factions that arose and the wars waged by growing civilized societies reinforce the myth of equitable wealth distribution.
That’s how the world grew historically in spite of the presence or the absence of proper sexual education.
People were meant to grow in number but not always in wisdom.
True, what we have at present is an unprecedented condition where legions and their presumably utter lack of moral control have wreaked havoc on our social and economic stability.
The burden placed upon society by such aberrant behavior as teenage sex, premarital (sic) sex, adultery, homosexuality and the ensuing social diseases can no longer be swept under the rug.
In fact, no decent society ever did any such cover-up.
The Jews did capital stone-throwing to exorcize some of these offenses in society.
Today, we tolerate actors or politicians who jump from bed to bed or change spouses from church to church.
Did these social offenders gain any advantage from their applied sex education?
Do people acquire mature responsibility by violating age-old norms?
In truth, we beg the question for these people had not really acquired self-control in the first place even before they handled such red-hot issues in their personal lives.
More than knowing
how to do it and
how not to do it is
why and when not to do it.
Social miscreants and even every ordinary warm-bloodied person will always be subject to the call of the flesh.
But teaching the youth the principles and methods of sex at that age when they are most curious, vulnerable and
lacking moral control is like showing a child how to light a match in a house littered with papers soaked in gasoline.
This is not to demean the abilities of children or adolescents.
Media and society at large have progressed (or more accurately, degraded) to a point where sex has become not just a product for sale but the package itself that contains nothing of value within.
It has been reduced by profitable business and respectable leaders into an ordinary vice no different from smoking.
Will presenting it as a serious subject matter counteract the prevalent nonchalance that media parade it for the young to salivate on?
Mind you, with their minds unleashed from the sacred darkness of youthful innocence into the lustful brightness of premature adult freedom, what will stop them from buying the product right there within their reach?
And this is exactly what is happening now.
Ancient cultures had it so right when they instituted marriages as early as in adolescence (13 up to 16) for that is when physical transformation and sexual desire are most rapid and intense among the youth.
It was the only reasonable cure against immorality and dissipation.
But through the centuries, social and economic changes have produced a late-marriage or even no-marriage syndrome.
We said
late-marriage and
no-marriage, not
late-sex or
no-sex syndrome.
In short, without society doing a concerted effort to bring back sexual maturity and control, a sex education for the young will only hasten the fall of morality in our midst.
Bring down first those billboards which forcibly educate us with “sexiness” even if all they try to sell are perfume, magazines or jeans.
Cover up first those lewd dancers on TV with more clothes or, better still, give us more palatable entertainment minus the wanton display of “free sex”.
Show us first that the so-called idols of showbiz adhere to our unwritten rules of courtship and to our civil laws on marriage.
Only then can we justifiably say that our children deserve to learn from us so-called mature adults.
Why should we expect the young to have self-control when society does not have enough of it?
Why should we try to mold them into something many of us are not?
Why should we expect them to build a morally improved society if what we have bequeathed them is far from what we ourselves deserve?
The issue is not whether parents or teachers should teach sex.
The issue is not whether the young are ready or not to have sex education in high school.
The issue is whether they know the role of sex in marriage and the role of love in strengthening marriages.
Do we teach love in school or in the homes?
Of course, we do by the way we behave.
Is love taught by the media?
Perhaps, if the
Hollywood kind or the self-indulgent kind commonly displayed in magazines for men can be called that.
There you go; watch these movies or read those magazines and whatever you learn scientifically about sex will melt in the extreme heat of passion that these movies and magazine deal with the matter.
Throw in a few more of those underwear fashion shows and you have dynamite in your groins waiting to explode.
Teach first self-control by teaching the spirit and the mind of the child to recognize the source of authority and truth in all of life and sex education will come naturally right at or before the moment of union.
Isaac and Rebekah never had a wedding or a pre-wedding sex-lecture but they knew how to do it.
Perhaps, we are like animals which instinctively learn how to express love physically.
Or perhaps, we should instead conduct refresher courses on sex and marriage encounters for the newlyweds instead.
They all deserve more help from government before or after their first child is born.
Just because they are less likely to abort a second child than unwed couples doesn’t mean they need no help.
It is precisely at that stage that they should learn more about sex and self-control.
How many marriages have broken because a spouse applies fleshly-acquired carnal knowledge or even ancient Indian sex-tricks (magazines and website have loads of these, as any curious person – including teenagers -- knows) with another partner?
How can you teach someone something he or she is not expected to use or apply immediately?
More often than not, the youth will go ahead and apply what they know.
Unfortunately, they and most adults fail to realize that the moment they enter into the sexual act, they have entered into the covenant of marriage.
Isn’t this how God designed marriage to be?
He made them
male and
female and the moment they express their distinctive nature at that moment of union, they bind themselves to that sacred pact with God as husband and wife.
Or so they must.
For thus it was for Isaac and Rebekah.
And for Rizal and Bracken.
Yet, so many fail to realize the inseparability of sex and marriage.
In our own selfish devices, we have become as unthinking as animals.
But that is really insulting animals for they are guided by instincts which they seldom violate.
We who should be guided by wisdom from our Creator wantonly dismiss Him.
Sex is not a mere act of humans.
It is ultimately an act of God.
A divinely-inspired process coming as it does from His grand universal design beautified by His love for humanity.
For people therefore to play with it as if it were a toy is the greatest insult to God.
Justifiably, adulterers and immoral people have their part in hellfire.
The main ingredients in marriage and sex, as well as in life in general, are love and self-control.
Without them, everything else and everyone will surely fail – and that means the individual, the family and society.
Vincent M. Ragay
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